Joy and Chaos

Elijah smiled at me today!

We were in the waiting room at the doctor’s office (for his 1 month well baby visit). I had him on my lap with his feet against my stomach and his head in my hands. I was very close to his face cooing at him. I told him he had beautiful blue eyes and I smiled at him. He smiled back! It was a quick smile, and he had a pacifier in his mouth so it wasn’t easy to see, but I’m nearly positive he smiled at me.

I cried with joy. So he cried, too.

I know best case scenario he was mimicking me, with the probable scenario being gas … but I don’t care. My baby smiled at me!!!

We got a new baby carrier for Eli, the Moby Wrap.

This is Eli and Mom wearing the carrier.

The video below is Mom and Eli wearing it.

On Friday, Eli, Mom, and Dad went to the Lake to visit the cousins from Germany and Andy’s parents.

This was Eli in the car seat, ready for his big day at the lake.

Unfortunately the weather was kind of yucky, but Eli got to spent some quality time with the family.

… didn’t go all that well.

We left Rochester at 10 am and stopped in Cannon Falls to nurse. This wasn’t that hard. It was my first time nursing in a public place and I think we did pretty well. Then we continued our trip and arrived at a friend’s house. Eli did great! He was cute and pleasant tempered. Then I loaded him into the car to visit someone else. The problem? The heat index was 100 degrees F. Literally, no exaggeration, 100 degrees. My little baby, who spends almost his entire day inside my comfortable 72 degree house, did not like this heat. We made it to my second friend’s house (with central AC) and I was able to get back on Eli’s good side by feeding him. When it was time to leave and visit someone else Elijah made it clear he did not like this plan. He continued to fuss when we arrived at our third destination and wouldn’t calm down until I fed him again, totally off schedule. I normally wouldn’t have fed him to calm him down, but I was getting pretty desperate. I coaxed about 15 minutes of sweetness out of him. After eating dinner one handed, the three of us headed out to my “second Wednesday of the month” get together to see a bunch of friends I hadn’t seen for three months (I was too pregnant in July to attend and had other plans in June). He cried for the entire 10 minute car ride. He was briefly quiet when I brought him in the house, and then cried for an hour and a half. At that point I decided that if I wanted to stay in the good graces of my friends, I needed to take my grumpy baby and leave. It was around 10 pm by now. I had planned to go back to Rochester, but I was too emotionally exhausted for a car ride, so Eli and I spent the night in Minneapolis. Once I got him alone and wrapped up in his swaddle he fell asleep pretty quickly and slept for about two and a half hours. I fed him and put him back to sleep and he slept for five hours! This is only the second time in his life he’s slept that long! Apparently, fussing all day long is exhausting.

I think we’re going to wait a couple weeks before trying this again.

I just got the bill from the hospital for Elijah’s birth and our hospital stay.

$8974.74 for me
$1961.35 for Elijah

Thank God for insurance and caps on deductibles!

Sunday night was our first attempt at giving Elijah a bottle. I nursed him at 9 pm and went to sleep. Around midnight the sound of his cries woke up me (through my ear plugs). I listened for a while and then got out of bed to see what the problem was. Andy had forgotten to take the milk out of the freezer ahead of time. You can’t microwave breast milk, so he thawed it in hot water. It was only two ounces of milk, so it thawed pretty quickly … but “pretty quickly” wasn’t quickly enough for the starving baby who has NEVER BEEN FED EVER, or so he tried to tell us. I worked on thawing the milk while Andy calmed Eli the best he could. Once it was ready I went back to bed. Alas, I couldn’t go back to sleep. I blame hormones, as I certainly should be tired enough.

Itty bitty little freezer bottles:

I didn’t know how much Elijah was eating, so I froze the milk in two ounce servings. He drank two bottles! I think four ounces of milk per feeding is on the upper end for a baby his age. He wasn’t hungry again until 3:30am (and he latched right on, no nipple confusion!). I think he might have eaten more from the bottle than he does from the breast. This would mean a even longer period of sleep for me if we can get it to work!

Giving the baby a bottle = Success
Giving the baby a bottle so Mommy can sleep through a feeding = Fail

Monday night we tried again. Since I had a better idea of how much he was eating, I pumped 4 oz and put in in the fridge. I nursed him at 7 pm and went to sleep (I was tired!). Andy took care of the 9:30 feeding with the bottle and woke me around midnight to take over. This worked out very well! It’s unfortunately that I have to pump as soon as I wake up because Elijah is sleeping pretty well at night. We usually get 2.5-3 hours at time and usually in his crib. I’d prefer to spend all of that time in bed rather than pumping milk, but I really like being able to skip a feeding. I think we’re going to keep doing this.

Andy has nicknamed Elijah “milk breath”. He’s also determined that Elijah knows two colors: “has my spit-up” and “needs my spit-up”. Eli shows a definite preference for “has my spit-up”. If Andy puts on a shirt in the “needs my spit-up” family, Eli is very quick to fix that.

Elijah does the cutest thing when he’s done eating and I try to put the nipple back in his mouth. He’ll tightly purse his lips, like a fish face mouth or an exaggerated kiss. He doesn’t turn his head or anything else, just tightly pursed lips. It’s adorable. When he’s unhappy about something and needs a break from crying, he’ll stick his lower lip out in a pout. It’s hard not to laugh at that face.

Some firsts:

July 25th Elijah had his first bath at home. He didn’t really like it. We tried again on the 31st. He was, again, not thrilled. During that bath we needed to rinse his head, so I covered his face with my hand while Andy poured water over his head. This didn’t work, Eli got a face full of water. We had him in a baby bath tub, leaning back a little. When I heard him gurgling I quickly tilted him forward to help him cough up or spit out the water. This position brought him really close to the edge of the bathtub, and it totally looked like Eli grabbed the edge of the bath tub and tried to pulled himself out. We videotaped this, it is absolutely hilarious. I’ll try to post that clip only (we’re hesitant to post a video of our child naked, because the Internet can be a bad place).

We gave him his third bath yesterday (8/7). It went a little better, he didn’t start crying until about halfway through, rather than right from the start. During the bath we discovered he has a small area of TERRIBLE diaper rash. We’re changing his diapers regularly and cleaning him thoroughly, but apparently neither of us were looking very closely when we cleaned him. I feel awful that it got this bad and we didn’t notice.

July 26th was Eli’s first trip to the park. He was wholly unimpressed. We’re trying to go on walks as often as we can. Eli and I both need to get out of the house a little more. July 26th was also the day Eli slept in his crib for the first time. He only did it for the length of one nap, but it WAS for a whole nap, and that was awesome. We’ve been working on this, and last night (8/7) he slept in his crib for 3 chunks for a total of 7 hours!

July 27th Eli and I left the house by ourselves. It was a very quick trip and we did awesome!

July 28th Eli had his newborn pictures taken and then went out to lunch for the first time. Mom and Dad enjoyed HuHots while Eli slept in his car seat next to the table.

July 31st Aunt Elizabeth came to visit. She played with Eli for quite some time, giving Mom and Dad a break. Near the end of her visit Eli was crying and we couldn’t figure out why. She handed him to me and he stopped crying. This was the first time he wanted me over someone else, and not for food, but because I’m his mom. This was very validating for me. I’m sorry it had to happen with my sister, she adores Eli and is a fantastic Aunt. But having my baby want me (not just because I’m the one with the food) was very special.

August 3rd Eli and I went to our first party, a baby shower for a bible study friend. He allowed all the girls to coo over him

August 4th We went to the mall for the first time. We had lunch at HuHots with my parents (it’s my favorite restaurant). Eli was hungry after lunch so Andy and I took him to the nursing room in the mall. He ate and fell asleep so Andy and I did some shopping.

August 5th I tried to implement a bit of structure into his feeding schedule (see previous post). He did great that evening and the next morning/early afternoon.

August 6th – But Friday evening he was a little terror. He cried for no reason, and for 30-45 minutes at a time. He wanted to eat every hour (so I fed him every hour. As much as I want structure, I’m not going to deny my baby when he’s hungry). He bit me. He wouldn’t sleep. Andy and I would have sold him to the gypsies if we knew where to find gypsies and thought we could negotiate a price over his screams. We were both exhausted and desperately needed sleep, which didn’t help our disposition at all. I gave him a pacifier for the first time. I had wanted to wait until after we gave a bottle, but I needed to try something. It worked ok, but not great. The kid was just in a bad mood. That night Andy took the first night shift and Eli was starting to wind down. I got to sleep for about 2 – two and a half hour stints. We traded off, I feed him again and got another 2 hours of sleep.

Saturday morning (8/7) Eli woke up and was a perfect angel. He was in such a good mood I took him out to run some errands. His good mood continued all day long … but he got fussy again that evening. It wasn’t as bad as the night before, but it was definitely fussy. I’ve heard it’s pretty common for babies to be fussier in the evening. I can handle Saturday night’s fussiness, but Friday just wasn’t ok.

Saturday night he slept great again, and I noticed his sleeping schedule was the same as the night before. He woke up at approximately midnight, 3am, 6am, 8am, fussy in sleep at 10am but didn’t wake until 11am. I haven’t been writing down when he wakes or sleeps, I just happened to remember the last two nights. I think I’m going to start to write it down. It would be great if his body already had a natural sleep schedule. Of course, these last two nights might have been a fluke. And, we’re giving him a bottle tonight. While the bottle will just have breast milk in it, changing the delivery method might change his sleep habits. We’ll have to see.

The last three weeks Elijah has enjoyed some great visitors! Both set of his grandparents have come over, as has both his aunts and his uncle. He’s also had a few friends come over. I love this, I’m not used to being at home all day and its a great treat to have people come over sometimes. If you’d like to come visit, please let me know! Especially if you’re bringing food with you. Wow, I had no idea what a blessing it would be to not have to worry about food during these first few weeks! My friends and family have done a great job making sure we’re well fed. My dad brought over an entire cooler full of dinners, my bible study has set up a schedule where someone comes over every Monday, Wednesday and Friday with dinner, and about half of Eli’s visitors have shown up with food. Thank you. Seriously, I don’t have words to express how much help this is. If it weren’t for all the great food people have brought over we’d be eating frozen convenience food and take out. It is so nice to open the fridge and see it full of “normal” food, the kind of stuff I’ll be cooking once I get back to cooking. If you know someone who has just had a baby, bring them dinner and you will be a hero in their eyes. Unless you can give them sleep, but if you’re capable of that I want to hear about it!

I’m still alive! And my baby and husband are too! This has been the primary goal of the past two weeks. I’ve focused on keeping us all fed, clean and appropriately dressed (Eli and I spend a lot of time topless because it’s easier to clean dribbled milk and spit up off of skin than do 2 loads of laundry a day).

We’re approaching three weeks (on Sunday! I can’t believe it’s been that long!) and I’m thinking it’s time to move out of “survival” mode and start thinking about habits and routines.

I’ve been feeding Elijah on demand, meaning whenever he is hungry. And I stop the feeding when he starts to doze off (my nipples still hurt. I’m happy to feed my baby but I don’t want to be used as a pacifier). Unfortunately, this has created the routine where he eats for 5-10 minutes every hour and a half. This isn’t ok. I’m really struggling with needing to feed him so often. Also, it isn’t predictably every hour and a half. Sometimes it’s 30 minutes, sometimes it’s 2 hours. At least once a day I usually get a 3 hour stretch, but I never know when it’s going to happen.

Breastfeeding frequently and unpredictably is difficult. I started reading “Secrets of the Baby Whisperer” at the recommendation of two friends. The book recommends feeding a baby every two and a half to three hours, for up to forty minutes. FORTY MINUTES!!! Elijah and I were barely doing a quarter of that. The author recommended helping baby stay awake to get a really good “meal” rather than letting him “snack” all day long. This makes sense. I started late this morning, keeping him awake and eating for about 20 minutes, the feeding after that was 30 minutes and we’re been doing 30 minute feedings all day since. I’m still starting the feedings when he shows me hunger signs (and I’ll always feed my baby when he’s hungry) but he’s been going two to two and a half hours between feedings today! This is progress!

On Sunday (his 3 week birthday) we’ll introduce a bottle of breast milk. The plan is for me to pump in the morning (my milk is at it’s best in the morning, according to the books) and feed Eli normally with the other breast. Right after an early evening feeding (8 pm-ish) I’ll hand the baby to his Daddy and go to sleep. Andy will take care of the next feeding using the bottle I pumped that morning while I continue to sleep. Andy will care for the baby until he needs to eat again, and will then wake me up to take over. If Elijah can go two and a half hours between those feedings, I’ll get five straight hours of sleep. That would be nice.

I haven’t allowed Elijah a bottle or a pacifier yet. I wanted to make sure he was really good at latching on to me before I confused him with fake nipples. I think he has a good latch. My nipples still hurt when he latches on, but all the nurses and lactation consultants I’ve asked for help have said that his latch looks good. After a week with one bottle a day, if he’s still breast feeding like a champ I’ll let him have a pacifier.

Once we’ve developed good eating habits, I think I’ll start working on our sleeping habits. My little Sweat Pea LOVES to be held. He only lets me put him down while he’s sleep about half the time, the other half he’ll wake up and cry until I pick him up again. I suspect if I left him long enough he’d go back to sleep, but I don’t want to do that. At this age I don’t think he should be left to “cry it out”. Today I put him in an Ergo baby carrier and wore him for a while. That worked well, he was able to be close to me and feel me and I was able to have both hands free. At night, if Andy doesn’t have too bad a schedule the next day, he and I will take “shifts”. He’s do the early night shift, and I’ll take the later one. The person not on duty wears ear plugs to bed, the other person tries to get the baby asleep on his own, but will stay up and hold him if need be. We’ve just started sleeping in separate beds, so as to not disturb the person not on duty. This is working right now, but it’s something I’m limiting to “survival mode”, Andy and I need to be in the same bed. I’m hoping the pacifier will help us with Elijah’s sleep.

I’m surprised at how well I’m doing with the lack of sleep. I am tired, and when it’s my turn to sleep at night I go straight to bed. But I’m not napping much during the day. I often doze with the baby on the couch in the morning until around 9 or 10 am, but I’m not usually tired enough during the day to choose a nap over laundry or dishes or posting pictures or blogging I don’t know if it’s adrenaline, hormones or just my body adapting, but I’m doing pretty well right now with the sleep I’m getting … but that doesn’t mean that I’m not REALLY looking forward to a potential five hour stretch of sleep once we start with the bottle!

Here’s a peak at one of Eli’s professional newborn pictures. I’m working on designing his birth announcement, then I’ll work on posting the other pictures.

Click to make it bigger.